Weekly Catch-up, 20/06/19

Why good day lovelies,

Thought I’d give you all a wee life update for the past two weeks (even if it is a bit delayed yah?)!

So, what the hell have I been up too?

Productive is definitely a word I’d use. Very, in fact.

I’ve noticed a real change in myself and my psyche in the past month or so, especially since I started this ol’ thing. And that’s my motivation. It’s gone up and up and up.

Before, and I mean for years and years, I had little or no motivation. To do anything. It was linked to my long battle with/for my mental health but to be honest, except for small lapses such as the occasional panic attack (usually over nothing, that’s what living with anxiety is like) I’ve been okay for a year or so now. But even then, my motivation stayed at record low and procrastination at record high.

Now though, it’s all changed. I get home from work and I’m blogging or emailing or working on art or SOMETHING! I’m not drinking a bottle of wine to myself and watching friends on repeat (nothing wrong with that on occasion if you need it but doing it 5 nights a week for months is worrying)!

I wake up ON TIME and (even more surprisingly) I wake up feeling motivated, happy for the day!

I go to bed feeling weary, the good kind of weary where you’ve worked hard- not restless and panicky like I’ve done for such a long time.

On the tube, I work. I blog or do art or read a book or listen to a podcast. All of those things I count as highly productive (yes even those last two as stimulating my mind and constantly learning things is something I have to do). I’m writing this now as I head home after a long day at work!

Overall, mentally, I’m feeling (generally) pretty damn great!

That being said, there are days where I wake up feeling tired, or I have a panic attack that throws me off, or I’ll get home and do nothing. And that’s fine, that’s okay. Learning that doing that and not feeling guilty about it when it does happen and that it’s okay for it to happen has been a big lesson I’ve learnt recently.

And, to be honest, I have no bloody clue why this is happening. Honestly! I haven’t tried anything new like exercise (lol what even is that), work is the same as always, personal life same as always, I’m the same as always. Except I’m not! I’m feeling pretty good.

I’ve been growing my freelance career too! And this is something I’m hugely, massively excited about. I got in contact with a few photographers regarding styling some shoots, following the advice of someone in the industry I really admire (I won’t name drop but he’s amazing and his dog is adorable) and I’ve been doing some work with them!

It’s been a delight, I’ve enjoyed it massively (even waking up at 5:30am on a Saturday) and this is definitely the path I think I want my life to go down. It’s amazing to see your ideas, your creativity, come to life in images with equally passionate creatives. I even enjoy the less creative bits of it such as curating all of the outfits, begging friends to borrow bits of jewellery and approving pictures of items models have to bring with them. I love it.

(photos by Steve De Vanderit, Model Nansi Nsue, make-up by Ricky Jo my bby, styled by ME!)

On a less positive and more superficial note, this constant drizzle and weird warm weather (thanks, global warming) is making my hair go to new heights of frizz. Seriously, I haven’t felt frizz like this since I lived in the Middle East. I’m basically Monica.

I’m going to treat myself to some Bumble and Bumble curl and anti frizz thick hair products on payday to try and see if it will combat the frizz.

I stopped getting Brazilian Blow Drys (I won’t go into too much detail as I want to do a blog post on it) and since then have learnt to embrace the ‘mad cat lady’ (as my mum calls it) hair I have naturally, just to tame and restrain it slightly. But that’s bloody difficult in this weather.

I used to use John Friedas hair products but I’ve stopped using anything with harmful chemicals in and unfortunately it all has SLS in.

I’ve also come to understand a bit more about myself in terms of my career and personal life and blog and everything really, and that’s by examining why I’m so jealous. All the time. I’m jealous of big time influencers and people in work who are doing better than me. It’s because I want to be them. I want to be at their level.

But I’m also trying to change my own perspective on this. Instead of being jealous, I’m trying to teach myself to learn off of them, to find out how they became successful. Also to wish them well instead of dislike them for their success. They worked their butt off to get to where they are, and well done for it. And finally, I’ve learnt not to compare myself to them. Ever. Everyone’s on a different journey. Everything happens for a reason.

I’ve also invested quite a bit of money into lady garments recently. I had my bra fit a while ago and holy SHIT every woman ever is wearing the wrong size bra. Every woman.

I was wearing 34E. I’m 30FF.

It’s all of the shops like Victoria’s Secret who normalise only being ‘32-36 A-D’ whereas in reality, very few women actually fall into that category.

So yeah, get your titties checked, girl!

Marie Kondo would've cried sweet tears of joy when she saw me give 7(!!!) bin bags of clothes to the charity shop!! And there's another two bin bags worth going on depop so please, please check me out on there. I'm begging you.

I’m also trying, very hard, to get into yoga. It’s been a journey since I was 16 of booking classes, cancelling, having an asthma attack because the room was too steamy (true story and apologies to everyone in the Virgin Active Chiswick circa late 2017), trying it at home and so on and so on. I’m not having much luck.

But this time, I’m trying my hardest. I’m gonna get a yoga mat. And a block. And I’be downloaded the Deliciously Ella app which has a bazillion easy to follow, short and sweet yoga tutorials which can fit into anyone’s lifestyle (not an ad, it just looks awesome). I’m gonna try one a day in the morning, even just ten mins. Then add one in the evening.

Then, I’ll move onto meditation. I’ve really bought into the wellness trend in case you can’t tell.

I’ll keep you all updated with the results! Hopefully with my newfound motivation I’ll be able to get up off my arse and do some downward dog.

I’ve also *just* posted my first ever gifted product. Now I think I should clear some things up as I’m starting to gain a wee bit more exposure and people are starting to see my posts. Firstly, I will always, always correctly tag and label anything that is an ad or gifted. Second of all, all of my opinions on said products are 100% TRUE. They are all ME! I would never ever talk a product up and rant and rave about it unless it was legit good. Just because I’ve been gifted something, doesn’t mean it’s brilliant. I’ll be telling you the good, the bad and the ugly (hopefully not the last two!). I’ve also got two more gifted posts coming soon, another on skincare (get in!) and another on a fancy new jewellery online store. I’ll keep y’all posted!

On a slightly sadder note, although it all seems go in terms of career and work at the moment, I regret not spending enough time with my friends recently. I miss them all dearly. Busy with work, gone back home, gone to training, they all seem a little bit absent at the moment from my life and I was feeling a bit lonely because of it. Those feelings are perfectly normal!

I’m also missing my family a hella lot too. My sister went to visit my parents where they live, so at the moment I’m the only one in the UK out of all of us and Skyping them is hard. Obviously, I’m used to it. I’ve only seen them on average once every 4-5 months in the past 4 years since I moved to London, but I liked having my sister within train-journey distance and being all by myself now feels a bit shitty.

So, there we go! That’s what I’ve been up too these past two weeks!

C x

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London-based writer and stylist.

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